So- I'm completely stressed and anxious. I probably will be for the next month or so given the big favor I've agreed to.
Here's my story...
I have a cousin- we are the same age but at completely different places in our life. She chose to get married when she was 17 and now has 2 beautiful boys (one has T1). Her husband was also very young when they got married, but the reason they chose to do so was because he joined the Marines.
They have moved ALL OVER the country- mainly living in California for the past 6 years in different places, never fully getting settled. I am grateful to say thank you to my cousin's hubby (BG) for his 3 tours of service in Iraq. I am completely and utterly thankful he has made it home 3 times with no more than a back injury.
You have to keep in mind through this story, that although my cousin and I talk on occasion- she's been gone for nearly 8 years. I've only met BG twice in my entire existence and the last time was 6 years ago......my Hubby has never met him.
So, my cousin and her beautiful family have moved back home....in Indiana- about 3 hours away from Hubby and I. She called me very unexpectedly on Monday and I was excited to return her call. They are currently living with BG's father and struggling to get on their feet (very sad- especially after 8 years of service).
Cousin: "Hey- I have a really really big favor to ask of you!"
So she asks me......BG is really struggling to get a job- he needs a license to work as a civilian- his 8 years of service does not get him a job in any company because he needs this specific license to operate heavy equipment. He needs to go back to school....there's a class in my city...
Can he come stay with you guys for 3 weeks?? It will be the end of August or end of September.
My initial reaction was of complete horror....especially since we are in full force baby making mode....kinda disrupts the plans here...maybe.
I told her I would call her back after the Hubby and I had a chance to talk.
What are we supposed to say??? They really need some help and here I am being selfish...nervous...anxious about bringing a family member (yet a complete stranger) into my home. I talk to both my parents and the Hubby and decided that it would be fine after we set a few ground rules.
1. I don't cook much....I will clear a shelf in my pantry and he's on his own for food (nor can I fund another eater in my house as we are saving for baby).
2. I'm not getting cable for his room- but when I get home from work- I want to be able to watch what I want on TV in my own home...(what would I do if he's chillin in front of the TV all day)
3. He needs to drive home on weekends- Hubby and I need some space and time- plus we have plans every single weekend....I don't want to feel like I have to entertain.
So- those are the ground rules we kinda discussed...I call cousin back....
I announce that we "gladly will host BG and welcome him into our home."
Her response- thank you- He'll be coming up on August 8th
WTF!!! August 8th- that's basically next week- I thought she said end of August at the earliest- so I question her...
Her response is that he got in the earlier class and it starts August 9th...he's going to come up Sunday night (the 8th) to get settled.
So- I tell her about some of the ground rules....mainly that we expect him to return home on weekends (I left the other 2 out). She then tells me that her and the kids will most likely come up and visit for a few days while he is here...A FEW DAYS? What the fuck is that all about? We have plans during every single weekend...and I'm not giving her full run of my house while we're goine...and 2nd...I have to work! I can't just drop everything and accommodate their instant desire to visit- she didn't even ask.
THEN...here's the kicker folks! She asks me "I have one more HUGE favor to ask of you!"
I brace myself for her question- "He needs another certification class immediately after he comes for the first 3 weeks....would it be possible for him to stay an additional 3 weeks for a GRAND TOTAL of 6 weeks?"
6 FUCKING WEEKS~! ????? NO way...no way...no way....that's an eternity with someone you've never met- and again....baby making....frustrating!
I tell her that I need to discuss with the Hubby and "let's just see how this goes first."
So- now we have company coming to live with us for a definite 3 weeks. We've decided we're going to turn down the 2nd 3 weeks and request he stay somewhere else- she did offer he could stay in a hotel.
I'm losing sleep over this....anxious all the time....and nervous. I think it's mainly because I don't know what to expect.
I feel like I'm being a bit selfish in that family needs to help family- but in my opinion- 6 weeks is a long time.
But...he did serve our country...so I'm torn....
But....what if my cousin comes up with the kids....I can't put my life on hold.
Oh what to do, what to do? I'm completely sick over this.
What would you do? What ground rules would you set? Am I being selfish or reasonable?