I've learned this over my short 25 years of life and I'm good at it. I'm really really good at opening up the valves and letting loose. I really think it's a combination of things today that helped me let the tears flow, but it felt good and I know it's okay to be sad for a day.
1. Vacation is over...so I know I'm in post-vaca mode and it sucks. It sucks going back to work and it sucks when I hate my job every other day.
2. My period started...again. I know it's still super early in the TTC stage of my life and I suspected it would come this month, but it still sucks. I can't help but hope it happens quickly because for so many people it takes so long. I feel that I should get a break with getting pregnant because I already have to deal with the Diabetes. Is this selfish? I'm sure some of you reading this are probably thinking so, especially those who have the D and fertility problems, you probably think so, but don't you think God should have given you a break?
3. Did I mention that I'm hating my job? I'm an Early Childhood Specialist and manager at a very large science museum and my boss keeps piling on the work. No matter how much I tell her that I cannot possibly take on any more...she doesn't seem to care and arrives late and leaves early almost every day this week and in weeks prior. I can't even catch my breath or take 5 minutes to eat lunch in peace while she leaves early and browses the web all day. She's told me before "you'll understand when you have kids." She's got 4 of them under the age of 6, but I think her little comment is a sign that maybe she's not invested in working. Is it bad that I want her job and sometimes encourage her to possibly think about staying at home?
I think that's all for now that's making me somewhat sad and I know the hormones from flo are making everything worse...but my Hubby has been super awesome this week with being in tune to how I feel and I love him for that. We're going to go hiking tonight...hope I don't go low which seems to be the situation during walks in the park lately.
I'll get the grill started....perhaps I can mentally escape to California and beaches!
Thanks for listening/reading my vent!