It's amazing to me how numbers impact my life (or my mood) at any second of the day.
Within the past few months, I've seen 41 and 403 and many numbers inbetween. For the past 5 years of my life, this has been the expectation, the norm for me as I constantly attempt to grasp this little life with Diabetes.
I finally feel some control in my life, some better grasp on reality. Maybe it's the idea of bringing a child into this world. I always told myself, "If I can't take care of myself, how am I going to take care of a baby?" That little split second thought always balances my never ending craving to be "normal." The reality is, I AM normal. I AM human, alive and healthy. It's about time I stop focusing on being different and focus on what I want to achieve as a normal person. I want to be healthy and happy. Yes, healthiness for me comes with effort, but what's wrong with a little effort? Kids take effort and willingness to be tired, but that's something I'm not giving up- so again-what's wrong with a little effort?
The past few months as we discuss starting a family- I finally feel that I have a grasp on what I need to do to stay and be healthy. The results are showing. My blood sugars are excellent and well within range most of the time. HOW MOTIVATING! For the first time in my life, I feel confident walking into the endo and confident that my A1c has dropped from the last time. No more surprises, no more denial of what I need to do. This is me adjusting to a new norm and it feels fabulous!