Family Weekend!

Yes...that would be our little bitty tiny "Lentil" as we have dubbed it. LOL- it came from the fact that the baby is about the size of a Lentil seed....and it just stuck...kinda cute, but I keep telling the hubby we need to work on a new name.

The big reveal to our families is happening this weekend. I can hardly contain my excitement! We are headed to Hubby's parents on Saturday and my family on Sunday. Everyone is going to be surprised and I can't wait to see the look on their faces! Hopefully I'll be able to snap it with a video....hopefully!

At any rate...I've still been feeling pretty crappy. I threw up for the first time on Tuesday morning. I ended up taking a half day at work. I was in the shower...and blah....3 times. I dealt with low blood sugars most of the morning, but eventually ended up taking the nausea medicine. There's no great choice in overcoming this battle...it's either...throw up...or be constipated with a stomach ache. I know that's probably TMI, but I chose the lesser of two evils...I will deal with constipation and get rid of the nausea. Has anyone else had to deal with this? I know in the end it will all be worth it, but it would be extremely lovely to make it through at least 1 week without any sort of "ickiness!"

Our 2nd Ultrasound is tomorrow- super excited- I'm 8 weeks today and am finally excited to meet with the doctor more in depth. Hubby and I have some big decisions to make tonight on testing....it's really a non-issue because no matter what...this baby is coming into this world..it's just a matter of wanting to know ahead of time about complications or not. Will update sometime soon.

On a different note....I GOT MY NEW JOB!!! I'm so super excited. I will start on April 18th- I've been working on my letter of resignation at my old job all night. I'm a little nervous about turning it in, but this will be an extremely wonderful change for our growing little family. Minus the fact that I'm giving up 3 months of paid maternity leave at my current job...but the difference in salary will be worth it...I hope.

Wishing all of you out there much happiness this week....and on this day of Irish Celebration...much luck to those of you TTC!

A little scare gives us a blessing!

The past week has been slightly crazy! Nausea has kicked up a notch...beyond a notch. I'm having trouble eating almost anything. It's screwing with my blood sugar and I panic that I'm not eating healthy enough. Vegetables DO NOT sound good at all....I gag at the sight of them. I seem to be able to tolerate most fruit, so I'll stick with that. Apricots are the fruit of choice...which I never really liked a lot of before.

A couple nights ago, I woke up with pain in my lower right side. It was pulsing feeling. More uncomfortable than painful, but it really freaked me out. I got my book out and started reading...and of course...the dreaded ectopic pregnancy comes up. I naturally exaggerated every little feeling and called the doctor first thing yesterday morning. I am trying not to be "that pregnant woman" who constantly thinks something is wrong...but sadly I did. I even downplayed it to the nurse I spoke to. I told her...."you can tell me I'm crazy." She said she would talk to the doctor and get back with me. Naturally, I had meetings at work that morning and missed the phone call back. It was 12:33pm and I noticed I had a message....it was the doctor...they DEFINITELY wanted to see me- they scheduled an Ultrasound for 12:30- I was already 3 minutes late. At any rate....I called back and they seemed urgent to get me into the doctor...so they pushed the US back to 1:40.

I called the hubby really quickly and packed up my stuff at work and went to pick him up. This was going to be our first ultrasound after all- but I was nervous and hesitant to get excited. I could still feel that pingy feeling in my lower right side.

It took forever to finally get into the US room....I guess that's what happens when you have an "emergency" appointment. But...the US tech began and low and behold....there was our "little bambino" as she said. It was clearly in my uterus and looking good. He/she is soooo little! But we were instantly in love...and in tears...especially when you hear that fast beating little heart for the first time. We were overjoyed...and then I double checked to make sure there was just 1 baby in there....check on that!

At any rate...the little pingy feeling on my lower right side is a cyst on my ovary....same type as the one I had in January. Amazing how something so small can affect you so much. So, I was not making up the feeling and she assured me that it would most likely go away by the 2nd trimester.

Hubby and I walked out with 3 tiny pictures of our little person....relieved and overcome with joy. I would like to thank my cyst for allowing me to get an ultrasound about 1 1/2 weeks early. I can't wait to hear that little heartbeat again on the 18th- what a beautiful sound.

6 weeks!

Tomorrow...I will be officially 6 weeks! It already seems like time is flying by...but at the same time....keeping this a secret makes time seem really slow...

I'm counting down the days until we can tell our parents....that should be fun!

I had my first OB appointment today- things went well. I had some nightmares last night about "things going wrong" and I freaked out this morning before my appointment when I woke up. Hubby decided to go with me- so that made me feel really good. Since they were just doing blood work and other things...he originally was not going to go- but I'm glad he did. We met with the nurse- she was FANTASTIC! I loved her and she answered all my questions and calmed me about my fears. We did actually run into my doctor while I was there and she met Hubby for the first time. I think he liked her- so that's a plus. I'm officially due on October 27, 2011 and the nurse told me that they most likely would NOT let me go past October 29th because of the Diabetes- but we'll see how that goes.

In addition to my day, I had another appointment with the Endocrinologist this afternoon. I really needed to make adjustments since I'm experiencing more low blood sugars than normal. She was extremely happy to hear my news and she spent quite a bit of time with me this afternoon looking over numbers and making changes. I feel like I have a good plan and am ready for the next steps of moving forward healthily in this pregnancy. A1c was 6.5- up from 6.3- but I'm happy with that number and confident that I can bring it down even more over the next couple months. Especially since I'm testing on average about 9-10 times a day.

Other than that- I've been experience extreme taste aversions and nausea - I haven't been able to eat breakfast the past two mornings...and this sounds really funny...but the only thing I want to eat is a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Really...not the BEST choice for healthy eating...but at least I can stomach it. After talking to the nurse this morning, I'm going to try eating some crackers before getting out of bed to see if that helps. I haven't officially thrown up yet, but I was REALLY CLOSE this morning- but the Hubby was there to rub my back and I thought that was sweet.

I was off work today because of my many appointments, but feeling extremely tired- I did take a 2 hour nap- so I'm awake and feeling pretty good! Thank you all again for your emails and support- I'm happy and excited to share my journey with you all!

Feeling blessed...

First of all- thank you ALL so much for your kind words and thoughts. It has been fabulous to use this blog as an outlet. I may be screaming in my own head constantly if I didn't have anyone to share my exciting news with. I'm just really praying that things continue to go well over the next 35 weeks.

The Hubby has been working extremely LONG hours over the past month-making it difficult to get really excited yet....even though we are at every moment we are together. I've barely seen him...which is why it is another miracle I am pregnant! I guess it's all about quality..not quantity! LOL!

At any rate....I thought I felt bad last week...but oh no....I'm feeling extremely exhausted as of this morning. I can't remember the last time I felt tired throughout an entire day. I felt bad at work this morning as I yawned in mid conversation. I know it was not dehydration because I'm drinking water like it's my job. I've invested in limes and cucumbers to had a little flava to my new drink of choice...aqua!

Beyond the tiredness, I have lots of cramping (kinda like a period). It usually comes in the evening and again in the morning. It's not painful, just constant...a gentle reminder that things are hopefully going well. I've only had nausea once...this morning...and it only lasted for a couple of minutes. I hope that's what it stops at...not just the beginning of what may be ahead...although I'll take every single pain and twinge for this little person inside of me.

I'm anxious about my doctor's appointment, it's a week away still. That doesn't seem normal, but I've been reading that it is...even PWD. My blood sugar has been pretty stable. I've run into a few highs and I promptly correct them- usually from eating something at a restaurant. I've been battling lows more than normal. I had a 42 this morning and some juice at work quickly took care of that. I haven't been that low in a long time, but it gave me a wake up call to always be prepared. This is just another reason that I'm anxious to see the doctor.

My boobs hurt like crazy...to the point that I'm really uncomfortable laying on my stomach or a tight hug...this just started within the past 2 days...hope this doesn't get worse.

In addition, I'm in a wedding at the end of August (I'll be 7 mo. prego) and in the process of bridesmaid dress shopping with a bunch of friends...whom I'm not ready to tell. I have to make a plan to go order a dress by myself...and then talk to the shop about ordering a dress 10x bigger...this should be an adventure...and a miracle if it fits correctly. Anyone have experience with this?

I will continue posting my journey as I move forward on this adventure. I found myself choked up this evening as I read another blogger's post about the loss of a baby at 19weeks 4days. I can't imagine...a gentle reminder for continued prayer for good health and a safe journey. I'm sure I'll share it all with you.

A positive sign ahead....

LITERALLY!!!!



I feel unbelievably blessed and fortunate to finally be at this place. Hubby and I could not be any happier. I think the stress of last month allowed us to relax a little bit and make our little miracle happen.

As for now....I'm holding my breath for everything to go well during the next 8 months and especially during the next 3. If all goes as said...I'm due October 27th- which is the date I was due when my parents were expecting me...how funny is that. I may get a little baby for my birthday :)

I'm almost 5 weeks and am going to the doctor next week. My blood sugars for the most part have been really fantastic and I'm hoping to stay on that road....

I waited 10 months for this little miracle...so for those of you who are TTC- I'm sending baby dust your way along with a flood of prayers!

Good news from the doc...

After nearly a week with no phone call about my test results, I finally caved and called. Somehow, I had been forgotten about. Surprise surprise! Luckily the nurse I spoke to was extremely nice and concerned that I had not heard from the doctor. She apologized over and over and promised a phone call by the end of the day.

My doctor got back to me and reassured me that the cyst on my ovary was extremely normal- it was a follicular cyst and she said that this was actually extremely good news that things are working correctly down there. All my blood work came back normal and she canceled my ultrasound in three weeks. I'm just going in for a regular appointment and we'll go from there. She did tell me that I indeed have a small Fibroid tumor on the very back of my uterus and she reassured me this was no problem for conceiving.

I'm a little annoyed that the nurse practitioner I saw gave me incorrect information. She really made it seem like the cyst was not normal and even told me so. My doctor assured me that the cyst was very normal and probably was NOT the cause of the annoying pain in my abdomen. She also reassured me that there was only 1 Fibroid tumor...and not 2 as the NP originally stated. Just what I need- someone to blow things out of proportion more than I already do!

So...I'm staying positive and praying and hoping that this will be the month. I keep dreaming about the positive sign on a pregnancy test but have a huge fear that I will never see it. But again- remaining optimistic and hoping to relax a bit....I wish it was easier.


For now...I'm remaining entertained at home by watching "The Unpoppables"- has anyone seen this show...crazy stuff with balloons- fascinating!

My mom knows....

She know that we are TTC. I had to tell her. My crazy emotions forced me to do it....and I didn't want to.

I was freaking out this week about the ultrasound and everything that has been going on in my life (including the fact that I did NOT get the job I really wanted) and my mom started asking me all sorts of questions. In the process of telling her "why" they were doing certain tests- I blurted it out. "I didn't want to tell you this way, but Hubby and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 9 months."

She didn't really say much..nor did she react the way I thought she would- but to give her credit- I was an emotional wreck and I'm pretty sure she was trying to remain as calm as possible.

So I get an email today from her...."I haven't told anyone. It's your personal business and I know you don't want me to know everything." Of course......this is a cue that she's DYING to tell someone and wants me to give her more information.

I simply replied- "Please don't tell ANYONE (including my brother and SIL) and that we are trying to wrap our heads around the next steps and I would fill her in accordingly." This is going to be a long long road.....

I LOVE my mother...but I didn't want to tell her this way. I always pictured it being a HUGE surprise and her and my dad crying and clapping and being excited....I'm blaming it all on my emotions. I think that's fair.

Progress?

I had my GYN appointment today.....thank GOD the Hubby attended with me. I was so eternally grateful for his support! His first time at the GYNO and he was looking around for other men...and sighed a breathe of relief when he saw one!

I guess we're making progress- at least I got some answers today. The doc did an internal exam- I have a tilted uterus. She went ahead and did preliminary blood work to "rule out" anything major preventing pregnancy- including thyroid, etc. That made me really happy- thanks to "anonymous" from a few posts ago- I feel better already- why not rule out things?

I waited over an hour for my ultrasound. I knew something was wrong from the minute the tech sat down. She said- "have you ever been told that you have fibroids?" I simply replied "no...what are fibroids." She says to me- "they are tiny tumors, they are usually benign and you have 2 of them." Thanks Ultrasound Tech- she had no further info to give me...

She turned her little computer screen away from me and started typing- clearly not wanting me to see. We were supposed to leave immediately after the ultrasound because we had been there for over 3 hours...and she says "please wait here- I need to get the doctor."

Doctor comes in- I do indeed have 2 Fibroids- apparently something not to worry about...but something to monitor. They were benign. In addition- the aching pain on the right side of my abdomen is IN FACT a cyst. Thanks for hating me body!

So...the weird period I had last week- should NOT be counted as a period. She thinks it was bleeding caused by the cyst on my ovary. She thinks I actually ovulated last week...and not the week before as I thought...and I should get my period in 7-10 days. She said there is a small chance that I could still be pregnant...but would be too early to tell. Given my sex life over the past week...hardly possible :)

I feel better now that I have a few answers. She told me that there is absolutely NOTHING that I should be worried about regarding my fertility as of now. Everything found today should not have a direct effect- but I'm holding my breath until all the tests come back. Should know more information by Friday.

I have a follow up ultra sound towards the end of February already scheduled- at least we can keep the discussion going.

Can you be my "web MD?"

Symptoms: (for some of you, this may be tmi)

Period 5 days early (after 6 months of normal 28 day cycles)= 23 days
Period consisting of BROWN blood (very light)- followed by dark black and heavy for about 12 hours...followed by more BROWN blood for about a half day. My "period" ended in about 2 1/2 days instead of the normal 5.

Lower RIGHT abdominal pains (sharp and pulsing....but not extremely painful)- constant and very clearly on the right- we're on day 3 of this.

Lower RIGHT back pain- lasted about 1 day

Negative pregnancy test- after drinking lots of hot tea and in the evening (too diluted?)


Off to the doctor on Wednesday.....the nurse mentioned the word "cyst" which is really freaking me out...anyone had a cyst with the above symptoms???

Feeling frustrated...

I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since my last post. The holidays were crazy and I think I just needed some time to prioritize my life and become mentally re-balanced...if that's even possible.

I feeling a bit frustrated....actually...a lot frustrated- so I decided to channel my energy here- simply so I can breathe and relax...and perhaps get some advice.

Hubby and I are headed into our 8th month of TTC. I never dreamed it would take this long and it seems that some of my biggest fears are coming true. But then I feel selfish, because I personally know many friends and family members who have waited much longer than 8 months and some of them for more than 3 years. So, I feel extremely conflicted in how I'm supposed to feel and who I can share those feelings with.

I've technically been off birth control for almost a year now....and for several of those months afterwards, we were not TRYING to get pregnant but most of the time we were not preventing either. We seriously started trying in July....and well...here we are now.

I have a GYN appointment next month and I'm going to ask her what I should do....I can hear her words now..."just keep trying." Why are those words so hard to hear....it wouldn't be as bad if the Hubby was not just as disappointed as I am.

I'm sure my anxiety surrounding TTC is contributing to complications...but any advice on how to turn it off? I would love to "not think about it"- but that seems nearly impossible. My period is all out of whack- this month...it came 5 days early....this has NEVER happened to me before which really only gave me a 22 day cycle- does that not scream that something is wrong?

Should I become even more neurotic and chart my BBT and measure mucus and purchase more of those stupid ovulation sticks? Those of you who have been through this before....what's your advice?

On another note, SIL is FINALLY pregnant! I'm so super excited for them after a 2 year battle with infertility...I can't believe I'm going to be an Aunt this July! I wanna be on that boat too!

On the Diabetes front, things have been going pretty well. I got a NEW PUMP! Animas Ping- it's working out so far- loving the remote option- but I do miss the simplicity of the Medtronic screens and buttons. Oh well- the insurance things is another battle that has no end in sight....I won't talk about that today...

On the Job front, I had a 3rd interview yesterday. Things at my current place of employment are almost unbearable, so I applied somewhere else and I know it's between me and another person. I think the 3rd interview went well....hope to hear something on Monday. Please pray for me....I really need this job!

I've been going to church every Sunday since the new year....I need to have God on my side if things are going to get tricky. However, I'm wondering if asking for a new job and asking for a baby at the same time is too much to ask?