I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since my last post. The holidays were crazy and I think I just needed some time to prioritize my life and become mentally re-balanced...if that's even possible.
I feeling a bit frustrated....actually...a lot frustrated- so I decided to channel my energy here- simply so I can breathe and relax...and perhaps get some advice.
Hubby and I are headed into our 8th month of TTC. I never dreamed it would take this long and it seems that some of my biggest fears are coming true. But then I feel selfish, because I personally know many friends and family members who have waited much longer than 8 months and some of them for more than 3 years. So, I feel extremely conflicted in how I'm supposed to feel and who I can share those feelings with.
I've technically been off birth control for almost a year now....and for several of those months afterwards, we were not TRYING to get pregnant but most of the time we were not preventing either. We seriously started trying in July....and well...here we are now.
I have a GYN appointment next month and I'm going to ask her what I should do....I can hear her words now..."just keep trying." Why are those words so hard to hear....it wouldn't be as bad if the Hubby was not just as disappointed as I am.
I'm sure my anxiety surrounding TTC is contributing to complications...but any advice on how to turn it off? I would love to "not think about it"- but that seems nearly impossible. My period is all out of whack- this month...it came 5 days early....this has NEVER happened to me before which really only gave me a 22 day cycle- does that not scream that something is wrong?
Should I become even more neurotic and chart my BBT and measure mucus and purchase more of those stupid ovulation sticks? Those of you who have been through this before....what's your advice?
On another note, SIL is FINALLY pregnant! I'm so super excited for them after a 2 year battle with infertility...I can't believe I'm going to be an Aunt this July! I wanna be on that boat too!
On the Diabetes front, things have been going pretty well. I got a NEW PUMP! Animas Ping- it's working out so far- loving the remote option- but I do miss the simplicity of the Medtronic screens and buttons. Oh well- the insurance things is another battle that has no end in sight....I won't talk about that today...
On the Job front, I had a 3rd interview yesterday. Things at my current place of employment are almost unbearable, so I applied somewhere else and I know it's between me and another person. I think the 3rd interview went well....hope to hear something on Monday. Please pray for me....I really need this job!
I've been going to church every Sunday since the new year....I need to have God on my side if things are going to get tricky. However, I'm wondering if asking for a new job and asking for a baby at the same time is too much to ask?